For anyone who has been following my journey for a little while, and/or follows me on Instagram you will have noticed how quiet I’ve been recently. I’ve even had a few people contact to me to ask if I’m okay which is amazing considering Instagram is widely believed to be a negative community. But for anyone wondering why I’ve been taking a break recently I thought I’d do a little update as to why and what I’ve been doing in the real world!
First of all, yes I am fine! Previously when I’ve taken absences from social media it’s been because I’ve been in a bad place where I have to shut out anything that makes me feel even worse (e.g. seeing a billion skinny, retouched ‘influencers’ living their best lives on paid dinners, photoshoots and holidays). This time though I’ve made a conscious choice to spend a little more time offline, focusing on my reality rather than my online presence. Purely because I’ve had some major life changes which I wanted to spend some time processing, enjoying, and living.
In the last month I got engaged, and we bought a house! Awesome I know. However, what followed was a serious realisation that I was actually in a state of shock and these two things happening to me.
(I don’t know if you know, but I can be pretty hard work and am a very complex little being)
Two years ago I built my vision board for the next 5 years focused on living with gratitude and practicing the law of attraction, and within 2 years almost everything I wanted was a reality. I kept trying to write posts and captions for Instagram about engagements, wedding plans, house updates, celebrations, but nothing felt quite right. I didn’t feel ready to share all of this information with the world. And in the midst of all of the beautiful chaos, I realised a few things about myself when it comes to weddings that I really did not expect (full post on that to come!).
So I’ve been keeping things private. Mulling over plans. And being blissfully, annoyingly content.
In paradox to this I’ve been dealing with the immense stress that is applying for a mortgage. I have bought and sold two houses previously whereas my fiancé is a first time buyer, so I’m guiding the way which is fine by me. BUT THE ADMIN. Holy shit. I swear it’s got so much harder than when I bought my first house!
While I’ve been pressing how happy I am, dealing with how stressful house buying can be, there’s been a huge wave of emotions as you can imagine. Where I really struggle to process emotions I’ve focused my efforts on that, as well as getting myself back into physical shape. From previous experience I know that the better my fitness routine and diet, the better my mental health, ability to handle stress, and general demeanour is. And oh boy I’ve been slacking big time the last few months.
So that’s the very boring truth! No sinking back into depression (yay!) no comeback of panic attacks (phew!) just genuine getting my shit together, getting my emotions together, and getting plans together.
Another thing I have done is heavily audited my Instagram account. I unfollowed over 500 accounts.
So now when I log on I only see things I am genuinely interested in from people I actually care about. It’s amazing.
I’ve also been heavily investing in Pinterest and for anyone who doesn’t already use it I strongly recommend looking at it! For me, it’s what Instagram used to be. It’s so fun and so creative. That’s where I’m sharing all my interiors ideas and wedding ideas, as well as loads of other super helpful tips.
Sometimes it can be challenging to step back from social media. We put so much importance on it that it becomes the opposite of what it’s supposed to be. A place to connect with like minded people. A place to share our lives, our journeys, our work. A place to be inspired.
It’s also challenging to remind ourselves that life exists outside of social media. Not FOR social media.
If you feel at any point the weight is shifted into the latter, it may be time to reevaluate. I’m so excited now to start blogging and posting on our plans and ideas and getting back into the game 😀