We’re told our whole lives that being ‘selfish’ is a bad thing. It has so many negative connotations, and so the majority associate it with being a bad person. Which is probably why so many people struggle with the idea that being selfish can actually be a very good thing (and absolutely necessary!)
Being selfish to me means putting myself before others when it’s appropriate. If you’re anything like me you probably spend so much time thinking of other people are and putting their needs ahead of your own that actually…don’t you deserve a bit of time to put yourself first?
I really struggled with the concept at first as it made me feel so guilty. And that’s where the self-love aspect becomes so important. If your best friend or child, or partner were having a bad day, or week, or just feeling under the weather. You’d probably go full-steam ahead with the cheering up train. But when it’s YOU that needs a pick me up, why shouldn’t you treat yourself with the same love and attention that you would others?
If you find it difficult to have the time, put it in your diary as if you have an appointment with a doctor or a friend. If you can make time for that, you can make time for yourself!
Or, give yourself a goal. Say to yourself if I get this chore done, I’m going to add 15 minutes to my ‘me time’ at the weekend.
It can be something as small as taking half an hour to read a book, go out for a walk, buy yourself flowers, go to that yoga class you’ve not had time for. Do you know what my absolute favourite treat for myself is?
A romantic bath…
I go all out like I was planning a night of seduction with Tom Hardy. I light all my favourite smelling candles, I turn out the lights. I use my best bubble bath and bath salts, and run a bath that I know would be way too hot for my other half. Just because that’s how I like it.
Sometimes I take a book, sometimes I take my iPad and prop it up to watch some cheesy TV or a film. Sometimes I just play music.
I always have a drink, sometimes this is just water, but more often than not it’s a frosty, ice cold bottle of beer. I’m telling you it’s the BEST.
And if you’re looking for my favourite pamper products, check out my must-haves here.
So I sit there, and I sip my drink and I switch off for as long as I need to to feel relaxed. Sometimes I struggle to relax which is frustrating, but just in my nature, so I don’t stay as long as I’d hoped. But the point is I tried. And I cared for myself.
I like putting my ‘selfish’ time aside for a Sunday evening. It really sets me up for the week ahead and helps ease any Sunday blues. It works equally well on any day of the week though, and I have even been known to have a full on romantic bath at 10am on a Tuesday because, frankly, I just really bloody needed it.
The longest relationship you will have in life is with yourself. So be kind to yourself, and listen to what your body needs. It will make all the difference.